Trouble's Afoot!
- Brielle Wolfe
- Nov 30, 2020
- 7 min read
Updated: Aug 2, 2021
Eyes clouded; a haze of red falling over everything in sight. A burning heat rushing through your veins, flushing your skin, making it hot to the touch and slick with sweat. Jaw aching as the scraping of teeth against one another grinds in your ear, pushing all other sounds into the fading background, all except for the incessant ringing in your ear, which leaves them with a sense of fullness. And the only time when the sound of gnashing teeth stops is when deep furrows are dug into the plump flesh of your bottom lip as it's bitten down on. But as hard as you may bite down, you don't feel a thing . . . But you want to feel something . . . anything but the overwhelming sense of numbness and fear as the weight of your worries and burdens overtake you, tightly gripping hold of your heart and mind. And try as you might to calm the racing staccato of your thoughts and beating heart; nothing works. So instead, you sink even further, feeling as if you're drowning. Gasping breaths come in short, shallow bursts, leaving a cavernous-sized pit in your stomach, a painful squeeze of your heart, and a stabbing ache in your chest as your lungs expand and contract too quickly, only to fail to bring in the adequate amount of oxygen it needs.
Sound familiar to anyone?
If so, you have your anxiety and/or depression to thank for that insufferable panic attack. But lucky for you, I'm here and have also gone through it too. More times than I'd like to, that's for sure. Anyways, the point is; you're not alone in this. And that's why I want to share my secret with you that's been helping me reduce my episodes over the course of this past year. You wanna know? It's pretty simple, actually, and completely free. All it takes is some of your time. Can you guess what it is?
I pray!
For those of you who may be reading this and have experienced God's grace and blessings personally, well, you already know! But for those others who haven't, I know what you're probably thinking and that you may be rolling your eyes at this. Maybe some of you have already tried and are thinking nothing came out of it. But honestly, praying to God truly does help. The trick to this, though, is to be intentional with your time and relationship with God. Talk to Him about both the good and the bad. Cry if you must. But let Him know your troubles and fears, and ask the Lord for His help and wisdom. Be sincere and genuine. And after that, the next part is the easiest. Once you've told the Lord about all your worries and fears, give them to God and let go. That's right! Release your burdens onto the Lord, and then let them go! Your troubles now belong to the Lord, and He will take care of them. Sometimes, not always in the way, we expect Him to, but He still gets it done.
Psamls55:22
"Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall."
God provides! Not me, not you, not anyone else; it's God who provides us all with what we need. And fortunately for me, by the Grace of God Himself, He has taken care of me and my troubles numerous times. That's not to say I won't have any troubles pop their ugly heads up later on down the road, but knowing that God is with me through every situation, loves me, and wants to take care of me, well, that seems to help quell the episodes my anxiety and depression like to conjure up.
And if you still don't understand or believe, then here are five prime examples from my life of how God blessed me. In each, I had broken down with tears streaming down my face, not knowing what else to do or where to go for help. And when I turned to God each time, He showed me His unfailing love and provided a miracle. God changed my life for the better. I only hope and pray that you'll let Him in, so God can do the same for you.
1: I prayed to the Lord, our Heavenly Father, about the large amount of student loans I had amassed over the years. I had this huge sum and no job. Whenever I applied for a job, I'd get rejected simply due to not having enough experience. But how was I to get any experience if no one would take a chance and hire me? And if no one would hire me, how would I be able to pay off this college debt looming over me? The sheer weight of it all felt crushing and unbearable. I began to have more depressive episodes than usual and was tired of it all. But before giving up, I wanted to try every route possible for me. And so, I did the only thing left. I prayed. In return, the Lord provided by getting my student loans discharged. Suddenly, life took on color again, and I was able to find my purpose and push forward.
2: When working a part-time job while still in college, I found it difficult to come home and work on the novel. I was always physically and mentally drained by then, not to mention, I had schoolwork to deal with, too. And trying to write the novel while I worked was not a feasible option either. I wasn't making any headway, not the kind I wanted and needed to get my novel complete. And when you're trying to make a career by being a full-time novelist, you kind of need a finished manuscript to do so. I was frustrated, tired, angry, and just depressed. I didn't want to feel like that anymore, and so I prayed. I told the Lord of my worries, how I felt, and of my dreams and aspirations. I gave it all to the Lord, and he provided! He gave me the time off from work that I needed to finish the novel. And because of that, I succeeded in completing it!
3: When my baby girl got really sick, I rushed her to the vet. They were very concerned, which had me in a panic. Now, I don't see my dog as just a dog. She is my daughter, my baby girl. So, you can imagine a mother's reaction to her very sick child, which isn't pretty. Vying for a miracle, I turned to my God and prayed. I begged Him to help my baby girl. To make her healthy and whole again. I made a personal vow to my Lord that is not easy to keep, but I strive to keep it every day, all so that God would heal my baby. He must've known that I would need her in my life still because, sure enough, He answered my prayers and provided another blessing once again. My baby girl began to get better, steadily, day by day and is as healthy as she can be to this very day.
4: I prayed to the Lord for His help, to provide me the necessary funds to pay for the services of an editor. Now, you see, editors are quite expensive. Especially when wanting your manuscript professionally edited with the best services an editor can give. And let's say financially-wise, I was at rock bottom after paying my baby girl's vet bill. So, I did what started to become a natural habit. I prayed! I explained the situation to the Lord and sought out his guidance and help. I gave all my worries to Him and then had let go of them. I trusted in the Lord that He would once again come through for me. And shortly after, God took my worries and made way for me. He provided me with all the tools and necessary funds to pay my editor!
5: After my manuscript was edited and polished up, I began my new journey in querying. I got down for a while because I had been receiving quite a few rejections. But I kept at it. Querying one agent after another. But after a month of receiving no answers and the scattered few rejections of others, I hit a low. I felt like maybe I and my work was no longer good enough. I began to feel the tight grip of my anxiety and depression digging its sharp claws into me, ready to rip me open and devour me whole. But before I let it take too much of a hold, I once again turned to my God and prayed. I cried with snot running down my upper lip, with red and puffy eyes from rubbing the tears away so much with the back of my hand. What could I say, other than the fact that I felt like a complete and utter failure which put all her time and energy into this manuscript? And that's exactly what I told the Lord, along with all my doubts and fears, and I wept even harder at explaining the thought of not achieving the goals that I've been working so hard towards. I asked Him to help me, that all it would take is just one literary agent to take a chance on me. Just one to champion my work so that I can achieve my goals of awakening the hearts of my readers to God through my novel and to launch my career. And shortly after, I received my first full-manuscript request by a literary agent I had queried a few days prior. The Lord had done it again! He provided me with renewed hope and excitement in this journey of serving Him through my written words.
So, you see? If you ever feel the clutches of anxiety and depression tearing at you, just turn to God, lean on Him, tell Him all your burdens, and then let them go! God will take care of them and you. He's got you! The Lord always provides.
Psamls94:14
"The Lord will not reject His people; He will not abandon His special possession."
2Corinthians9:10
"For God is the one who provides seed for the farmer and then bread to eat. In the same way, He will provide and increase your resources and then produce a great harvest of generosity in you."
Mathew6:25-27/33-34
"That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life- whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your Heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to Him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?
. . .
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need. So, don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today."
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