Love like Christ

Don't you just LOVE love? I mean, it sounds so great, right? Who wouldn't be infatuated with the idea of loving one person as much as they love you?

What could possibly go wrong!?!

Well, when loving someone for the wrong reasons. . . quite a lot can go wrong.

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You could love someone so much that it hurts! At least, that's how the saying goes. But, unfortunately, that saying holds more truth than I wish it did. People with mental disorders, especially depression and anxiety, will have trouble loving themselves. So, they may decide to throw all their love onto another; while also showering that other person with love they're supposed to keep for themselves. Meaning that those who experience love in this way are loving their partner twice as much. Why would someone do this, you ask? Well, it's because they know what it feels like not to love oneself and don't want the person they care about ever to feel the same way.

Unworthy, unlovable, self-loathing, and wishing they could fix every little piece of themselves that they find as dreadful.

The bad thing about loving someone this way is that the person getting showered with love may not love their partner back to that same degree, or at all for that matter. So, who is the one really getting hurt when loving someone for this reason? I can tell you this much; it's not the partner getting showered with twice the amount of love.

It's you.

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Now, what about loving someone because you're tired of being alone? Someone with depression and/or anxiety might find the idea of love to be enticing, specifically for this reason. Some of you reading this right now might be silently thinking that you fall under this category. You find a person you could mildly be interested in and attracted to, then think yourself in love, with 'said' person. So, what do you do? You end up throwing yourself headlong deep into your own fantasy of love, but in reality, it's just living in a delusion of your own creation. This time, you're not only harming yourself but also the person that you're claiming to have feelings for because he/she doesn't know that your feelings aren't actually real.

Loving someone, for this reason, creates distrust and insecurities; because after you get bored and uninterested, you apologize to that person for lying about having real feelings for them. So now, that person will always be questioning and doubting if their next partner truly loves them or not.

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Then, there's always the dilemma of a person with a mental disorder being in a relationship with the wrong person. All because they feel that they won't get anyone better and no one else will love them. Even though, 'said' person doesn't care that you're struggling with the emotions that are overwhelming you. Heck, he/she blatantly refuses to understand your mental disorder and scorns you for how it affects you. Or going as far as to tell you straight to your face that you're an embarrassment when going out in public together, all because you have your service dog with you. Some of you may be thinking that I'm being overdramatic. But. . . when you suffer through being ridiculed, criticized, and labeled as a 'psycho' every day you're together by the person you trusted to love and care for you back, you'll understand.

Loving someone, for this reason, might make you feel good in the beginning. However, it'll cost you your mental and emotional health in the long run, even more so than before.

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Now, some of you might be thinking that love is just impossible to have, especially for a person like you.

That's simply not true!

Obviously, loving someone for the wrong reasons won't get you anywhere and will cause a load of problems. However, loving someone the right way and for the right reasons will bring you a sense of happiness and peace.

Romans13:10

"Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God's law."

1Corinthians13:13

"Three things will last forever -- faith, hope, and love -- and the greatest of these is love."

So, you see? Love really is powerful, but it's your choice to choose it for the right or wrong reasons. In my opinion, I'd rather choose love for the right reasons.

And what reasons would those be?

• Loving someone because I already love myself as a person, even though I have flaws.

• Loving someone because I am ready to be with someone after knowing that I can make it on my own. Yes, having company is good, but that's what family and friends are for!

• Loving someone because I truly care and have feelings for another person after I've taken the time to get to know 'said' person.

• Loving someone because I already know my self-worth and how I deserve to be treated. Knowing this, I can decide which person to be with, a person who genuinely cares and loves me. In addition, I'll be able to respect my partner and treat him the way he deserves to be treated, as well.

The lesson learned is: don't blindly rush into a relationship for the wrong reasons. I did, unfortunately, and experienced each of the three scenarios, and let me tell you; it's not worth it. So, you may have to go through a few relationship trials and errors as I did. As a result, there might be some time that passes on before Mr./Mrs. Right comes knocking on your door. Why? Well, it's because God will give you what you need when you're ready and when He thinks the time is right. He may also feel that you need to go through a few rough patches beforehand because God wants you to realize the difference between a good and healthy relationship vs. a toxic, unhealthy one. And because of that, you'll be able to appreciate the good relationship so much more!

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Therefore, be patient and make sure to always put God first in the decision-making. Ask yourself, "Would God want me to be with this person for the right or wrong reasons? Would God rather me and my partner be in a happy, loving, and successful relationship or in one that we waste away in? Would God rather me love someone genuinely or without meaning? The main takeaway for this is always to put God first and in the center of everything you do and choose. By having God in the center of your relationship, you will be able to make better decisions with your partner and work your way towards marriage at a slow but steady pace. One last thing that just so happens to be the most important piece of information of all. . .

God loves you!

His love for you, me, and all His children is unconditional! (No matter how many times we make mistakes and sin.) Just ask for His love, forgiveness, and mercy because God's love is genuine and true. Let His love be the perfect example of how love should really be!

Romans8:35,38-39

"Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?"

1Corinthians13:4-7

"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud, or rude. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

#LoveLikeChrist #LOVElove #LoveNeverLoses